looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Come on in and take your pants off
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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