that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
