Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
organizing the empties. That sober.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
