Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
