She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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