no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
my poor anus
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
