Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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