the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
