4 words: hood of his car
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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