So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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