it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm both gender and math confused
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
