I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
