I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
