im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
