hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
