We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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