He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
