Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
