Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
