I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
