so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
