i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
