you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
