I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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