Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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