absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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