Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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