I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
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