I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize