Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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