On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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