one two three fourrrrnication!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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