I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
