I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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