I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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