just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
