turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
