yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
