I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
A+ Viking dick
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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