everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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