i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
