I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
