What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
