then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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