How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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