Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
