Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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