got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize