I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
