he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it glows. i had to have it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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