they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
