I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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