Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
