you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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