i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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