butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
