i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
