it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
