the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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