wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
