I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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