Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
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