I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I believe in your delicious
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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