The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
